fantasy football

Day 256: Raiders vs Bangles

The Bangles, not the Bengals.

The Bangles, not the Bengals.

I settled in for the first Sunday of the NFL/fantasy football season today with the TV on, laptop in hand, and pizza on the way. My wife’s a good sport about being a football widow, but I find myself less fascinated by the games these days anyways, so I’m sure I won’t be doing the morning-till-night NFL shift too often this year.

As much as I enjoy fantasy football, it’s the Oakland Raiders’ continued ineptitude that helps kill my love for the game every week. I actually felt good about this season: youngsters David Carr and Khalil Mack would be joined by Amari Cooper and the Raiders’ climb back to respectability would begin. I wasn’t delusional and thinking a Super Bowl run, of course, but an 8-8 season would be a nice turnaround.

Unfortunately, it was business as usual for the Silver and Black.

The offense was stale, the defense was a sieve, and the cherry on top of the sundae was Carr leaving the game with an injured hand. To play that bad under a new head coach in his debut at home? It proves that the Raiders have a much longer road ahead of them than any of us thought.

I took to Twitter to vent my frustration. The team was playing bad, but color commentator Chris Simms on CBS was annoying me and a lot of other fans with his mispronunciation of Cincinnati’s team name. He said “Bangles” instead of “Bengals” throughout the game.

Maybe it’s just the way he says it, but the already testy Raider fanbase wasn’t going to sit back and let Simms continue with his comments about the “Bangles beating the Raiders.” The snark on the Internet was on full blast, but apparently nobody at CBS checks social media since Simms never corrected himself (which was hilarious because he stopped to note how he was correctly pronouncing Khalil Mack’s first name).

The Raider Nation in cyberspace filled Twitter with jokes about the Bangles, Manic Mondays, and Walking Like An Egyptian. And Simms kept saying it, just adding to the unintentional comedy.

It was the only thing we Raider fans had going for us today. Better to laugh about something than cry about another losing season.

Day 253: New Year, New Teams

Kashyyyk Wookies

Kashyyyk Wookies

For the first time in years, I have more than one fantasy football team. That’s twice the amount of players to follow and stress over. Twice the heartache during the season. Twice the payouts at the end of the year (hopefully).

In honor of Episode VII opening in December, I named my teams the Kashyyyk Wookies and the Tusken Raiders, respectively. I hope the Force is strong in all of my players’ knees and they bring me another championship trophy or two.

Both of my leagues were auction drafts, with slight differences in scoring, waiver wire pickups, etc. The Wookies are in a redraft league and the Raiders are part of a keeper league.

Here are the players I’ll be rooting for and/or cursing this year:

Kashyyyk Wookies:

QB Andrew Luck

RB Adrian Peterson

RB Duke Johnson

WR DeSean Jackson

WR Julian Edelman

TE Dwayne Allen

WR/RB/TE Keenan Allen

Bench: Sammy Watkins, Todd Gurley, Carson Palmer, Charles Sims, Ty Montgomery

Note: I haven’t paid over $1 for a K or DEF in years and have been streaming both positions before it was called streaming. Thus, I’ve left them off my list. 

Tusken Raiders:

QB Drew Brees

RB Mark Ingram

RB Matt Forte

WR Jeremy Maclin

WR Vincent Jackson

TE Rob Gronkowski

WR/TE Keenan Allen

WR/RB John Brown

Bench: LeGarrette Blount, Ryan Mathews, Jordan Cameron, Brian Quick, Pierre Garcon, Carson Palmer, Marvin Jones, Ka’Deem Carey, and Knile Davis.

Day 239: Fantasy Football Draft Day

Fantasy Football.

Fantasy Football.

My favorite holiday of the year (my fantasy football league’s annual draft) is this weekend. Like the other owners in the league, I’m excited and definitely not studying as much as I should. I know Jordy Nelson’s done for the year and Aaron Hernandez is still locked up, but beyond that, I couldn’t tell you what players I’ll be targeting for my team.

I’ll print out a cheat sheet tomorrow and check the NFL’s injury list before our draft begins. It’s what I’ve done for years now and I’ve had some success; last year I dominated the league before falling in the championship game.

Of course, fantasy football stories are about as exciting as bad-beat poker stories or the one-that-got-away fishing tales, so I’ll spare the details of my almost-championship.

The one thing I think about every year is how the league has evolved. Actually, the players more so than the league. We’ve pretty much kept the same scoring system, roster positions, and rules the entire time. There’s a core group of us that includes my brothers and close friends who have been doing this for 16 years.

It’s cool to see how each guy has changed over time. There have been weddings, divorces, babies, and other real-life happenings and it’s nice to know we can always meet up once a year to talk trash about each other’s teams. We’re all basically the same guys we were back in 1999, but I’d like to think we’re all older and wiser.

Well, older, anyways.

 

Day 231: Happy Hoppy Hour

Hamilton Family Brewery.

Hamilton Family Brewery.

I’m not much of a beer drinker anymore, but I make an exception whenever it’s fantasy football time.

Tonight I met my buddy who’d invited me into his league, which will be my second league this season. We had excellent craft beers at Hamilton Family Brewery in Rancho Cucamonga.

I’m a huge fan of Hamilton’s Double Mango IPA, but wanted to change things up this time around, so I went with a Gold Rush (nice and easy blonde ale) and a 909 (wheat beer with oranges). Pictured above is my 909 next to my buddy’s Double Mango IPA.

We’re still a few weeks away from the draft, but like the NFL, you have to start with the preseason first.

 

Day 210: Twice the Fun

Tusken Raiders

Tusken Raiders

My fantasy sports geekdom was born in the early ’90s when I started a rotisserie fantasy basketball league. Each week I bought the Wednesday edition of USA Today for its comprehensive NBA statistics. I calculated stats and typed up reports on my PC clone, then printed the results out on my dot-matrix printer. The amount of work was staggering.

Not surprisingly, that league lasted exactly one season (won by my youngest brother who made the no-brainer decision to draft Michael Jordan).

Even though I could’ve been permanently scarred by the fantasy-stats-by-hand experience, I wasn’t. If anything, it fueled my passion for the game during a time when information and advice was hard to come by.

I started small fantasy football leagues before joining a friend’s more established league. That led to my other brother starting our current fantasy football league in 1999. It amazes me that the same core group of friends and family will be starting our 16th season together.

Throughout the years, I’ve managed to play almost every fantasy sport out there: football, basketball, baseball, hockey, golf, NASCAR, soccer … and, for one hilarious season, the XFL.

I joined multiple leagues in multiple sports for years before the inevitable burnout. About five years ago I began scaling back my fantasy sports play: one league per sport only. This year I didn’t get around to playing fantasy baseball and surprisingly I didn’t miss it at all.

But when a buddy of mine had an open spot in his auction draft keeper league, I didn’t hesitate. I’m looking forward to being in two leagues again, especially since I got to try out my new Star Wars themed team name, as shown above.

Day 180: No Offseason

Fantasy Football Is Almost Here

Fantasy Football Is Almost Here

Even with futbol slowly overtaking my love of football, there is still no sport better suited for the fantasy game than the good ol’ NFL (sorry, old-time baseball rotisserie geeks; weekly matchups are 100 times better than accumulating stats over a season). Just as the sports media like to say that there is no offseason in the NFL anymore, the same applies to fantasy football. Player news, injury updates, team breakdowns, and every bit of football minutia is now available via the Internet 24/7/365.

Matthew Berry is a legend in the fantasy football community. He’s known for his ESPN column and he appears on various fantasy football shows and podcasts. He’s also the author of my favorite book on the game, Fantasy Life: The Outrageous, Uplifting, and Heartbreaking World of Fantasy Sports from the Guy Who’s Lived It (my review here).

So, here we are, still in June, and Berry published his first fantasy football column of the year (the first NFL game is September 10th). He’s done this every year for the past decade and it’s a great way for us fantasy geeks to officially begin our offseason planning. It’s a compilation of stats from the previous season, done in a way that will have any fantasy football owner second-guessing themselves on any player or team. Once the NFL news cycle heats up with the first preseason games, we’ll be able to throw away all of the previews, stats, and Berry’s column, in favor of updated previews, stats, and columns.

Once the season is over, though, we’ll all go through the old news and reports we’ve read, trying to find that one tidbit that, depending on our success or failure, confirms that “I knew I should’ve listened to Berry!” or “I can’t believe I listened to Berry!” And before you know it, it’ll be next June and we’ll realize there’s no fantasy football offseason anymore.